A Love From God

Categories: Dating, Pen Pals, Friends: Success Stories
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Submitted by: Nannette | View Member Profile | View Other Posts
Created: 5/11/2003

What is a love form God? I would be willing to say that 99 percent
of the people that read this will say that God is always first in
their lives. But what does it mean, to really put God first in your
life. Or let me put that another way. What does it mean to really
understand all that Christ has done for us? Or what He is offering to
give us?

I met the love of my life Rachel, on Christiansinglesdating.com. We
had been lead to an experience like we had never expected or prayed
for.

For me it started with a friend at work. Since 9-11-01 the
atmosphere at work has been very open. We have been able to freely
share our experiences with Christ. He had also been trying to get me
into this email dating thing. I had this little voice in my head
about a singles ministry where I could help others. I was hesitant
to get involved but there could be so many that may just need a friend
to share with. So one day during lunch I did a search on the
Internet. Guess what. I found a Christians singles sight.

I was so busy at church and work there was no way I would have time
to even register on this site. So I prayed about it. Something told
me that I needed to do this. The next day I woke up at 4 AM. So as
usual I prayed. When I was all done praying it was 4:15. So I said
if I am up at 4:30 I'll get up an register.

It was as if I knew the questions before seeing them. I registered
and I was online with a 14 day free trial. Okay, to be perfectly
honest I did start looking for myself. But that only lasted 2 days
and I prayed about getting my priorities straight. I was only there
to help others.

It didn't take long to start emailing women and looking over
profiles. Then one day there was this one. Her profile at first hit
me as quite the opposite of what I was looking for. But there was
something about what she wrote. She never asked for help. As a
matter of fact I saw a very strong confident woman. Someone that had
all her plans in life already set in order and she probably had dozens
of men to choose from already. It was her 10 year old son that
really got to me. I knew it was not easy for her on her own, to raise
a son. So I did compose a letter and emailed it.

I got back a smile. I started out my email with, "Did you actually
send me a smile or did your finger only slip?" I didn't know what to
say next, so I sat back and said a prayer. Then I checked her profile
to see who I was responding to. Oh, that one. Well there doesn't
seem to be too much of a chance for this one. I won't relocate.
Rachel doesn't want to relocate to where I am. I am way out of her
perfect match. I think I may have hit on maybe one or two items.
Rachel had noted that she was looking for an honest man. So honesty
was the only thing we had in common. Honesty and a need for a closer
walk with Christ.

I continued the email. I hit her up with every barrier I could think
of. My kids, how they will always come first. My dedication to my
church and my involvement. Church involvement was really heavy at the
time, to the point of exhaustion. I figured I had loaded that one
email up with enough information about myself, she would have made up
her mind half way through it and went on to the next lucky fellow.
And besides all that, I had no idea what she looked like. At the time
Rachel did not have her picture on the site.

In her reply it seemed to me Rachel was just trying to be polite.
And in the same exact manner I was. But to me, I can't say how I
knew, but I saw something in between the lines. I sent her an email
back and spoke every feeling I had in my heart at the time.

Some how I knew the daily trials she faced. The day to day routine
and how it was effecting her, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I saw she had a need to be filled. And that is all I really wanted
to do, was to help some one. Could this be the person I needed to
help?

We soon exchanged personal email addresses and later phone numbers.
Then came the calls. We had one more thing in common. Rachel likes
to talk and I am a good listener. We talked about God. About Jesus
and all of the things He has done for us. We talked of how God has
been working in our lives. Our profiles were miles apart, but or
spiritual walk was as close as any I have ever seen. We were like
twins in Christ.

It was Rachel's willingness to learn that motivated me. But it was
her connection to God, a true living, growing connection to Christ
that really entered into my heart. She turned my stories and insights
from the Bible back to me in the form of questions about me. God has
a way of using me and reaching me through what I write. The Spirit
was using her to help me go far beyond what I was capable of onto a
new level. Rachel would ask, "what does this story mean to you?" It
was a hard question to answer. At times her questions touched me so
deeply I had no choice but to reexamine my relationship with God. To
dwell more deeply upon the mysteries of God and the questions I had.

I have rarely met anyone that could take my insights from the Bible
and turn them from bread for the day into a banquet. I saw a
relationship with God not as just enough information, or increased
knowledge about God to get by from day to day. Now for the first time
in my life I was seeing the word of God as a feast of knowledge. An
endless, deep flowing river of love and compassion.

Needless to say, our relationship grew, centered around Christ. And
then one day I had to take a good long look at myself and ask the
question. Who do I really care about more? Rachel or Christ? This
question followed me for many days before I emailed her and told her
my sorrows. I told Rachel I needed to know that I really loved Christ
more then her. One thought did occur to me. I had not yet seen
either one of them.

About that time Rachel told me she was about to get her picture up on
the web site so I could see her. I told her it did not really matter.
By her profile she was the right shape and size for me and I already
was sure of her beauty. She was excited about me seeing her. I had a
feeling inside that told me to wait. I thought it was something I had
to prove to myself. To see if I at least had enough patience to wait.
I had a fear I would take one look and fall hopelessly in love. And
wait I did. An entire week. And then I looked.

She was exactly as I had imagined. She did describe herself to me.
And I could tell what she looked like by her voice. Everything seemed
perfect to me. Some how I had known, without even seeing a picture of
her. What really surprised me is the attachment we had already
developed for one another. Without first knowing what she looked
like.

With every relationship there are obstacles to over come. And
questions that needed to be answered. I knew the obstacles. I
didn't know how to overcome them. And the questions just kept on
pouring in.

The web site seemed to be my main concern. Rachel and I had only
known on another a few short weeks by sharing emails and a few long
distance phone calls. Was she still looking? I knew she had a very
limited experience with men. And I really could see how she would
want to look around first. Was this going to be something to last?
Was this something God was leading us into? Too many questions. To
few answers. We hadn't even met and I was letting my heart run away.

Then one day I walked into work and there was a fax from Rachel of
her home state. Her home and work and sites of interest all hand
marked on the map. Was this a hint? Then a few hours later, a phone
call during lunch. It was Rachel and the words were, "we need to
talk. Call me tonight."

Was this it? Are we taking the next step? Or did the email service
do me in? I had to wait to find out. The hours passed. Finally the
phone rang. What followed was a 3 hour phone conversation.

Rachel told me of all the heart aches in her life. Of an 18 year
marriage that she tried to hang onto years after all hope had ended.
The birth of her second child and the scorn of the father. A total
denial of Christ. A divorce and the pain it caused. The attempt at a
new relationship. And then about her new found relationship with
Christ.

She realized her present relationship with another man was not where
Christ wanted her. So she broke off with that and headed out on her
own. Married at only 18, it must have been the most frightening event
of her life. But by that time she had been way past hitting bottom
and now she had a new friend in Christ. It wasn't long after, her
daughter moved out.

We had shared so much already. And now it was time to share the
tears. But I had to find out for myself that night. Was there really
a chance for us? Was there a future? Was there a "us" at all? So I
asked her, "you could never leave your daughter behind could you?"

We lived more then 1000 miles away. The distance was a barrier in
itself. But the greatest barrier proved to be the love of our own
children. I have two of my own and I knew I could never leave them.
Not for anyone. Rachel and I had already been praying about our
relationship. Both of us felt strongly about leaving everything in
the hands of God. If this was to work we needed a sign from God.
Each of us needed our own sign. We were determined to put our desires
aside and wait on God. There was no other way. If God wanted this to
happen, He needed to make it work.

I asked her again, "you could never leave your daughter behind could
you?" I reminded her that I could not leave my 2 kids behind. That
was something I could never do. So she answered, "I thought you had
already understood what my child and my family here mean to me." I
have to say, deep down inside I already knew what the answer was. I
just needed to hear it. To hear it from someone I had never met. It
took me less then a second to give her my reply, "that makes me love
you so much more." That was the first time I told Rachel I loved her.
It was the first time I knew for sure. If she could put others before
herself, how could I help but love her and care for her.

The next morning I woke up at 4 AM. That is my time to think. I
really believe God wakes me up to talk to me in the still of the quiet
morning. A thousand thoughts filled my head. They all were centered
around encouragement for my poor little Rachel. As I lay in bed and
listened, a story began to fill my head. It was a detailed picture of
her life, and how Christ had been there every step of the way. I
could not help but cry. I mean really cry. My savior was always so
close to Rachel. I could now see an image of Christ I have never
seen. For the first time in my life I could truly see how Christ is
in our lives every step of the way. Through every mistake we make.
Christ is even so much closer to us when we take paths that take us
away from Him. I could see Christ going before her. Trying to get
her attention. I could see Christ patiently waiting. Knowing in His
heart that one day she would turn around and see Him standing there.

And what about Rachel and I? Right now we have the best
relationship anyone could hope for or pray for. We are totally open
and honest. God has drawn so much closer to each of us. I am so glad
God does not give us the blessings we ask him for. I prayed for
someone to bring me to a closer walk with God. God gave me someone
that put Jesus right in the center of my heart.

So that's where we are at this point. God is seeing to it that we
stay 1000 miles apart. Each of us doing the work for the Lord in our
own way. Staying close enough to encourage each other. But far
enough apart to allow the Spirit to guide and direct each of us, in
our own direction. To continue to shape each of us. With out undue
interference from the other. Now wouldn't you call that a perfect
relationship, made in Heaven?

As I look back at this, it is the best we could have hoped for. We
are dedicated to each other, concerned and caring. We are still
praying for God's will to be done and thanking God for His work in
both of our lives. We both have a better understanding of what that
will really is. And yes, we are now making plans for a future
together. If it is God's will, we will be meeting each other for the
first time, very soon.

More details to follow.


* Rachel is a pseudonym.



Dennis Herman

KJV Proverbs 3:1-7
1. My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my
commandments:
2. For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to
thee.
3. Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck;
write them upon the table of thine heart:
4. So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of
God and man.
5. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine
own understanding.
6. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from
evil.