|
|
|
|
New for You! Singles, Asking About the Divorce
Categories: Dating, Pen Pals, Friends: Cyber Dating, Member Surveys, Relationships: Divorce
This Post has been viewed 13424 times.
Submitted by: Nannette | View Member Profile | View Other Posts
Created: 2/26/2003
Our Christian singles members respond to: What is the best way to approach the important subject regarding the circumstances of the divorce - how it came about and what it is currently like?
ChibiGirl:
Female - Age Range: 21-30
You may use my alias...
My response may be different than most, maybe it's because I am a straightforward person...but my feeling is… JUST ASK! I personally would not be offended. My divorce, while it is sad that any marriage ends, was not devastating. In fact there is a wonderful testimony that came from the ashes of my divorce. The Lord took me through it for a reason and I grew tremendously from it. I never mind sharing my experiences. Just don't say you're sorry...A divorce does not always need sympathy.
See...I told ya I was straightforward...LOL:)
Female - Age Range: 31-40
I think the best way is just to be upfront. The guys I've come in contact with I answer any questions they might have when they ask otherwise I usually bring it up within the first 5 emails - usually 3. For myself, I would rather cover that topic early and make sure the other has no problems with it. I am someone who happens to have been divorced twice so it's a bit more uncomfortable than someone who has only been married once.
LaVernern:
Female - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias.
In a word: delicately. Establish some rapport before getting into potentially sensitive territory. Allow the person to share what information they desire without pressure. If after the question is answered, you make uncomplimentary remarks regarding the involved parties, you may touch on a tender chord. Remember, what you ask of another, you should volunteer or at least answer the same question(s) about yourself.
Female - Age Range: 41-50
There is another christian singles site that has as one of their profile questions something like,'What caused your last relationship to end and what have you learned from it?' I like that because you are not totally in the dark about that part of someones past and conversely, you can objectively put a thumbnail sketch in your own and its something that you won't have to be repeating,whenever you reintroduce yourself.
Female - Age Range: 61-70
A divorce is a very personal decision between two people who have failed at marriage. The fact there is a divorce history and letting it be known is being honest. It would be nice to spend a little time getting to know a person before going into the why's and wherefore's of the divorce. If open and honest, I think it will show rather quickly if there is bitterness, old baggage, etc. to deal with. A person has hopefully learned from past mistakes and moved on to a more spiritual and productive life. I would ask anyone to think carefully whether they can accept someone who has been divorced or widowed and be honest with how they feel about previously married individuals and their children.
Faithfullboy:
Male - Age Range: 31-40
Faithfullboy. You may use my alias.
The best way to approach the important subject regarding the circumstances of divorce is the same as agreeing to what the Bible says before chosing our eternal sweet-darling:
If we know and agree with what the Bible says there wouldn't be so many people divorced today not only in the churches but also in the world.
Mathew 5:31-32; Mathew 19:8-9
Mark 10:11
Luke 16:18
Romans7:1-3; 1Corinthians 7:10-11; 1Corinthians 7:39
This is why I am not looking for a divorced woman.
It is written for us in God's Word for many, many wise reasons.
May the Author of marriage lead us and be merciful to us with His protecting law. The moral law we should obey in the faith of His grace. I said 'protecting' not only to us singles but to married and divorced people.
I also want to tell you this: Die single before marring the wrong person.
May God bless you richly.
dkm:
Male - Age Range: 31-40
You may use my alias.
A divorce is personal and obviously painful. It should not be addressed until a very good, consistent
pattern of communication is established. While there may never be an emotionally comfortable time to ask
(it will always be touchy), your common sense, working with your conscience will let you know when the time is appropriate.
Male - Age Range: 41-50
a divorc can be tragic especialy if those involved take marrage lightly and the other takes it seriously it is for life not a trial testing the watters we should know this or belevve this the world wants us to moddel christ sure there are aguusive mates and not gods chosen mate for us the world should not perceve us as similar but diffrent. rember the vows say what god has joined let no one devide or seperate? i dont beleve all marrages are to gods choice but to the fleshes choce and i dubt that god ordains all marrages as what god has joined and no one seperates should not be an option byt a covenent to may marrages are not in my opinion joined by god or they would not be broken homes or spouses i also believe that the prenuptual aggree,ent is realy planning for thedivorce before the marrage. this is not scriptual as god hates divorce god loves us even if we divorce however god does not approve of it
Marine:
Male - Age Range: 51-60
You may use my alias. I never address it until the person that I’m communicating with asks me about it. Then I remain as positive and open as I can about the subject making every effort not to “poke” my ex in the eye. The reason I don’t initiate the divorce question first is…I don’t want the lady that I’m communicating with to wonder whether I’m getting personal over what kind of divorce settlement she had, etc. I had a lady start to get into my settlement once and it kind of turned me off.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Copyright (c) 1993-2012 Nannette Thacker, Shining Star Services LLC ChristianSinglesDating.com
Free Trial! Chat, Photos, Search, Christian values, 2-way match, love.
Christian Singles|Christian Pen Pals|Christian Marriage|Christian Dating|Christian Chat|Personals Ads
|
